Will Smith has revealed he contemplated killing his own father to avenge the violence he witnessed his dad inflict on his mother as a child.
The actor, 53, opened up about the traumatic incident in his new memoir Will, which will be released on November 9.
In an extract shared by People, Will revealed that he’d witnessed his father, William Carroll Smith Sr, hit his mother, Caroline Bright, when he was a child, and had vowed to avenge her when he was older.
He wrote: ‘When I was nine years old, I watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed.
‘I saw her spit blood. That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am.’
Will says that ‘everything he has done since then’, including his career success, was a way of saying sorry to his mother for not being able to step in and help her on that occasion, feeling he had been a ‘coward’.
His parents split when he was a teenager and divorced in 2000, and despite maintaining a close relationship with his father, Will struggled to forgive him for the violence he witnessed that night, and even contemplated killing him years later when he cared for him while he had cancer.
He revealed: ‘One night, as I delicately wheeled him from his bedroom toward the bathroom, a darkness arose within me.
‘The path between the two rooms goes past the top of the stairs. As a child I’d always told myself that I would one day avenge my mother. That when I was big enough, when I was strong enough, when I was no longer a coward, I would slay him.’
The actor wrote that he paused at the top of the stairs, thinking he could ‘shove him down, and easily get away with it’.
However he went on to say ‘decades of pain, anger, and resentment’ abated and he shook his head and proceeded to wheel his father to the bathroom.
Will Senior died in 2016 and his death made Will reflect on their relationship, writing there is nothing from the ‘material world’ that can bring inner peace and fulfilment.
To the star, who is married to Jada Pinkett Smith, it doesn’t matter how much people loved you, all that matters ‘is how well you loved them’.
Domestic abuse helpline
If you are in immediate danger call 999. If you cannot talk, dial 55 and the operator will respond.
For emotional support, you can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247. Alternatively, for practical and emotional support, please contact Women’s Aid Live Chat 10am – 6pm seven days a week.
For free and confidential advice and support for women in London affected by abuse, you can call Solace on 0808 802 5565 or email advice@solacewomensaid.org.
Male victims of domestic abuse can call 01823 334244 to speak to ManKind, an initiative available for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence across the UK as well as their friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues and employers.
Alternatively, the Men’s Advice Line can be reached at 0808 8010327, or emailed at info@mensadviceline.org.uk.
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